"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take."-Anthony Robbins
Life begins with a relationship. Like it or not, we are all interconnected with each other, right from the beginning. We become who we are because of our earliest relationships. Whether they were good or bad, we reflect those early connections.
Our relationships become the basis for our learning when we are young and sometimes keep us from learning and growing as we grow older. Scientists have long understood that healthy humans are intensely social. Humans invent ways to connect with other humans, even if they are merely vicarious connections through pseudo-social relationships provided by watching television or listening to talk radio. No matter what your past has been like, you can begin to improve the quality of future relationships right now. In order to cultivate great relationships, we must begin with ourselves. The important thing to realize is that relationships are a healthy contribution to the quality of our life. It is worth the investment of time and energy to improve the quality of as many of our relationships as possible.
A New Beginning
The beginning of a relationship is often the easiest phase. The "honeymoon" stage is recognizable to everyone as the best time in a relationship. Everything is new-first kisses, all night talks, long walks, and couples who feel they can hardly live without one another. Though we are speaking mostly of romantic relationships, any relationships (family, friends, business partners, etc.) experience similar dynamics-it is interesting when we are just getting to know someone new. The decision to take the relationship to the next stage is usually the beginning of the end of the honeymoon stage. What usually comes next is conflict!
Conflict
The next stage usually brings up issues of conflict or disappointment. Living together brings up all kinds of issues that may create conflict in the relationship. Values, morals, or belief differences start to emerge. It is impossible to come to a resolution if we haven't learned ways to communicate so the other person feels heard and understood. This is the time to ask yourself the question, "What was my part in creating this conflict?" The blame game never works.
Janie Behr is a qualified life coach specializing in helping people find their purpose, achieve their goals, and explore all the possibilities that life has to offer. She is available for private individual coaching, group coaching and public speaking engagements. She runs frequent teleseminars dedicated to helping people find and live their most positive lives!
